5 Pillars of a Healthy Nanny and Employer Relationship

When you think about it, there’s hardly a more intimate working relationship that exists than that between a nanny and her employers. The nature of the work and the workplace naturally lend themselves to employers and employees developing a deeper relationship than those engaged in many other types of working arrangements. For this reason, defining the nanny and employer relationship and the boundaries that govern it can be a bit complex and subjective.

In some families, the nanny is treated like a cherished member of the family, invited to family celebrations and included in all family events, while in others, the nanny is treated like a valued employee, the line between employer and employee never being crossed. While neither is necessarily right nor wrong, the attributes of one will likely feel more comfortable to each party.

Regardless of which of these attributes the relationship takes on, however, there are certain traits that are found in every healthy nanny and employer relationship.

At Morningside Nannies, as parents and nannies enter into new working relationships we stress the importance of building them on these five pillars.

Trust

Parents and nannies must work together to develop and foster a culture of trust. Both parties must be willing to trust each other and must be confident in each other’s intentions and abilities.

Building trust starts with being honest, setting and honoring boundaries, being reliable, keeping your word and by being transparent.

Trust isn’t developed overnight. It can take weeks, months or more to develop. It can also be broken overnight.

Mutual Respect

Parents and nannies must have mutual respect for each other for the employment relationship to succeed. Both parents and nannies must value the role each person plays in the household and in the lives of the children.

Mutual respect means having value for each other’s boundaries and each other’s time. It means backing each other up in front of the children, praising in public and criticizing in private. Having mutual respect means treating each other with concern, fairly and courteously, especially in front of others.

Mutual respect can be established from the start of the relationship.

Open Communication

Parents and nannies must work to foster an environment where open communication is appreciated and valued. Open communication allows nannies and parents to share information, concerns and aspirations as they work together to raise the children.

To keep the lines of communication open, parents and nannies can establish a quick morning and evening debriefing routine, maintain a daily log, have a daily check-in time and hold a weekly or monthly meeting.

Parents and nannies should encourage each other to bring up concerns as they come up, to ask questions and to share feelings or concerns with confidence that they’ll be listened to.

Commitment

Parents and nannies must make every effort to honor their commitments.  In any relationship, when issues arise walking away can seem like the easy solution. Parents and nannies will experience ups and downs in their working relationship and as long as the child’s safety isn’t of concern, trying to work them out can often be the best solution.

If parents and nannies don’t commit to addressing problems and honoring their commitments, it can be easy for one party to be fearful the other will walk away, which adds unnecessary stress and strain to the working relationship.

When it is known that both parties are vested in the relationship and committed to it, there’s a willingness to invest the time and energy required to improve the working relationship.

Healthy nanny and employer relationships are worth establishing and maintaining. When the employer and employee relationship is healthy, the parents, the nanny and most importantly, the children, benefit from it.

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