At Morningside Nannies, we know that hiring a nanny is more than finding childcare — it’s about building a partnership rooted in trust, communication, and mutual respect. When families take the time to create a positive, professional relationship, nannies are happier, stay longer, and provide the highest level of care.
But even the most dedicated caregivers can feel frustrated when certain issues arise. If you want to attract — and keep — a great nanny, here are five things that make nannies crazy (and how to avoid them).
Nothing makes a nanny feel more ineffective than when parents reverse decisions or contradict them in front of the children. If your nanny says “no TV before homework” and you say “oh, just this once,” it sends mixed signals and can quickly erode the nanny’s authority.
Fix it: Back your nanny up in front of your children. If you have a question or prefer a different approach, discuss it privately. When your children see you and your nanny as a united team, everyone wins.
Good communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and that includes the one with your nanny. When families don’t clearly communicate expectations, changes in schedule, or concerns, it can create unnecessary tension or confusion.
Fix it: Schedule regular check-ins. A weekly or bi-weekly conversation to discuss the children, routines, and logistics helps everyone stay aligned. Texts and notes are great for quick updates, but nothing replaces an honest, face-to-face conversation.
Many families don’t realize that nannies are household employees, not independent contractors. Paying “under the table” might seem easier, but it creates big risks for both you and your nanny — including tax penalties and loss of benefits like Social Security and unemployment insurance.
Fix it: Do it right from the start. Work with a reputable payroll service that specializes in household employment to ensure proper tax withholding, wage compliance, and pay transparency. When you pay legally and fairly, you build trust and protect everyone involved.
Your nanny was hired to care for your children — not to become your full-time housekeeper, errand runner, or personal assistant. Over time, it’s easy for “just a few extra things” to turn into a completely different job.
Fix it: Respect the original scope of the role. If you need to add responsibilities, have a conversation about revising pay, hours, or title. Clear expectations help your nanny feel valued and prevent burnout.
Nannies are caregivers, not robots. They need — and deserve — time to recharge. Calling or texting frequently on their days off, asking them to “just come by for a minute,” or changing vacation plans last minute communicates that their time isn’t respected.
Fix it: Honor boundaries. Treat your nanny’s time off as you’d want yours to be treated — free from work interruptions. When your nanny has time to rest and reset, they return to work more energized, focused, and happy to be there.
A great nanny-family relationship is built on mutual respect, open communication, and trust. When families take the time to do things right — legally, professionally, and personally — they not only attract top-quality nannies but also keep them long-term.
Your nanny plays a vital role in your family’s daily life. Treating them with the same professionalism and respect you’d expect in any other workplace ensures that your children receive the very best care — from someone who genuinely loves being part of your family.
At Morningside Nannies, we’ve been helping Houston families hire, support, and retain exceptional nannies for over 20 years.
👉 Learn more or start your search today at MorningsideNannies.com.
Here are five things that make nanny employers cringe — the kind of red flags or missteps that instantly create doubt or frustration during the hiring or employment process:
Reliability is everything. When a nanny arrives late, forgets important documents, or seems disorganized, employers immediately worry about dependability — especially since punctuality directly impacts their family’s routine. Even a minute late everyday will wear thin on an employers nerves and lead to unnecessary stress.
Even if the criticism is justified, badmouthing former employers comes across as unprofessional and suggests potential drama. Families fear they could be next in line to be spoken about.
Nanny employers often recoil when a nanny becomes too informal, intrusive, or start sharing the intimate details of their daily life. Families value warmth — but also professionalism and respect for relationship boundaries.
Employers often recoil when a nanny starts giving unsolicited parenting advice before trust is built or starts insisting her way is the only way to do something. Families value a nanny’s input, but at the end of the day, want a nanny who respects their authority and role as parents.
Parents look for stability in their caregivers. They want confidence that the nanny understands professional employment norms and is managing her life well. Asking for a cash advance or loan can be viewed as overstepping boundaries and read as a red flag.
Looking for more? Read here.
Looking for your next nanny job? MorningsideNannies.com/jobs provides up to date available jobs in real time. Apply at MorningsideNannies.com by clicking apply now so you can be ready when a role you like is listed.
Posted in Advice for Nannies | Leave a commentHiring a nanny is one of the most significant decisions a family will make. You are inviting someone into your home and trusting them with the safety, care, and development of your children. While there are many compassionate and highly skilled caregivers, there is also risk if the hiring process isn’t handled carefully.
By taking proactive steps, you can create a healthy, legal, and positive working relationship for everyone involved.
Here are 10 proven ways to minimize risk when hiring a nanny:
1. Have an Accurate Job Description and Clear Hiring Requirements
Start by defining exactly what you need in a caregiver. Outline specific responsibilities such as childcare duties, household tasks, transportation, or homework help. Identify non-negotiable requirements, such as CPR/First Aid certification, driving experience, or infant care knowledge. Include information about schedule, benefits, and household expectations. An accurate job description helps attract the right candidates and prevents misunderstandings later.
2. Use a Reputable Agency to Recruit and Screen Qualified Applicants
Working with a reputable nanny placement agency can significantly reduce hiring risk. Agencies pre-screen candidates, verify credentials, and conduct initial interviews before you even meet them. They guide families through the process, providing expertise on compliance, benefits, and best practices. If issues arise after the hire, agencies often offer replacement guarantees and ongoing support. While there’s a cost to using an agency, the peace of mind and it provides are invaluable.
3. Verify References and Work History
Never skip this step. Speaking directly with former employers is essential. Confirm dates of employment, duties, and reasons for leaving. Ask about reliability, professionalism, and how the nanny handled challenges. Be wary of candidates who cannot provide verifiable childcare work references. Reference checks reveal a candidate’s past performance and can help predict future behavior.
4. Run Comprehensive Background Checks
Protect your family by running thorough, multi-level background checks.
This should include:
A high-quality background check goes beyond surface-level searches and provides the security you need.
5. Have a Written Work Agreement in Place, Signed by Both Parties
A detailed work agreement sets clear expectations and protects both you and your nanny.
Include:
This document serves as a reference point throughout the employment relationship.
6. Ensure Proper Insurance Is in Place
Having the right insurance reduces liability and protects everyone involved. If your nanny will drive your children, confirm they are covered under your auto insurance policy or have appropriate coverage of their own if using their own vehicle. Consider workers’ compensation insurance, which may be required by law in some states and provides protection in case of on-the-job injuries.
Proper coverage shows you value your nanny’s safety and shields your family from potential legal complications.
7. Invest in Onboarding Your Nanny
Even experienced caregivers need guidance to understand your family’s unique routines and expectations. Review safety protocols, including allergies, medications, and emergency contacts. Walk through daily schedules, household rules, and discipline approaches. Provide resources and introductions to make your nanny feel like part of the team. Strong onboarding reduces stress and sets everyone up for success.
8. Pay Legally and Be Wage Compliant
Nannies are employees, not independent contractors.
Paying legally not only protects you from IRS penalties but also builds trust with your nanny.
9. Monitor Quality of Care and Provide Regular Feedback
Once your nanny starts, stay actively involved in their success.
Regular monitoring ensures your child’s needs are consistently being met.
10. Hold Annual Reviews and Update the Work Agreement Each Year
An annual review creates an opportunity to reflect on the past year and plan for the future.
This proactive step prevents misunderstandings and strengthens your relationship with your nanny.
Hiring a nanny comes with great responsibility—but also great reward. By following these ten steps, you can minimize risk, protect your family, and create a safe, nurturing environment where your children can thrive.
Taking the time to hire carefully and manage the relationship professionally will set the foundation for a lasting and positive partnership with your nanny.
Posted in Advice for Parents, All About Nannies | Leave a commentRecently, a nanny applicant voiced frustration with our agency’s screening process, describing it as too thorough and unnecessarily invasive. In fact, the candidate expressed concern that we were actually running a scam! She questioned why we required such comprehensive background checks, reference verifications, and multiple assessments before presenting her to a family. She wondered why a moving violation on her driving record would be questioned and why we’d inquire if she was affiliated with a company that was listed in her social media footprint, but not on her application. While we always appreciate candid feedback, it’s worth taking a moment to explain why this level of screening isn’t just justified—it’s absolutely essential.
Unlike other jobs where someone may be responsible for children in a daycare or group setting alongside multiple caregivers, a nanny is entrusted with the care of a child—in a family’s private home, often alone and without direct supervision. This role requires not only trust and reliability but also sound judgment, emotional maturity, and at least a basic understanding of child development and safety. There are no state standards that dictate how to handle most any situation when providing care in the private home- or a ladder of supervisors to hold caregivers accountable when things go wrong. A nanny is entrusted with the daily responsibility of ensuring the child’s safety and care throughout the day.
When parents hire a nanny, they’re not just hiring a babysitter. Nannies invest in the ongoing physical, developmental, social and intellectual growth and development of the children in their care. They are often spending more waking hours with the child then the child’s own parents. Parents are selecting someone who will shape their child’s daily experience, provide emotional security, and often become an extension of their family. That decision cannot—and should not—be made lightly.
In addition to an application and personal interview, our screening process includes:
Comprehensive criminal background checks (national, state, county, and sex offender registry)
Driving history reports
Reference checks with previous employers
Verification of identity and work eligibility
Social security trace
Employment history review
A childcare and safety assessment
A personality questionnaire
These steps aren’t designed to create hurdles for candidates; they’re designed to ensure we present families with caregivers who are not only experienced and skilled but also have a track record for ensuring child safety, responsible decision making, and aligning with the parenting values of the families they have previously worked for.
Parents cannot—and should not—have to rely on gut instinct alone. They deserve to know as much as legally and ethically possible about the person they are entrusting with their children. Our job as a referral agency is to equip parents with factual, verified information so they can make a confident, informed and educated hiring decision.
When screening is rushed or superficial, it opens the door for risks—some of which may not surface until it’s too late. And unfortunately, the cost of a wrong hire in childcare can be devastating. That’s why we commit to this process, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.
We understand that not every nanny will be comfortable with this level of scrutiny. That’s okay. Our goal isn’t to question anyone’s character—or even to determine if the candidate is a great nanny. Our goal is to ensure that those who are represented by our agency meet the minimum criteria we have established and the professional standards that our families expect and their children deserve. As a member of the Association of Premier Nanny Agencies, we voluntarily commit to industry standards that elevate our agency by following the gold standards set forth by the association for the household staffing industry.
If you’re a nanny who takes pride in your career, this process is an opportunity—not an obstacle. It’s your chance to show your professionalism, experience, and commitment to quality care. Families notice the difference, and so do we.
Thorough screening is not about mistrust—it’s about responsibility. It’s about trusting and verifying. In nanny care, there is no room for shortcuts, assumptions, or guesswork. We gather as much information as legally possible so parents don’t have to wonder. Because when it comes to the safety and well-being of a child, “good enough” simply isn’t good enough.
Michelle LaRowe is the executive director of Morningside Nannies. She has invested over 30 years in the nanny industry, providing education, resources and empowerment to nannies and advocating for high-quality care for children cared for by nannies.
Posted in Advice for Nannies, Advice for Parents, All About Nannies | Comments Off on Why a Thorough Nanny Screening Process Isn’t Just Necessary—It’s EssentialDuring college, I stumbled into the world of nannying — and quickly discovered it was so much more than just babysitting. I found an entire ecosystem: nanny agencies, professional organizations, support groups, conferences, even nanny schools.
While studying chemistry at my local university, I landed my first nanny job. I saw the ad in the newspaper, applied, interviewed, and was hired. I immediately fell in love with the work. In fact, it never felt like “work” — I had found my calling.
By junior year, when it was time to gain hands-on experience in chemistry, I dreaded it. The idea of spending my days in a quiet lab, coat on, isolated, just didn’t fit who I was. As the first in my family to attend college, I was committed to finishing my degree — but I knew I’d never work a day as a chemist.
I graduated on a Sunday and started my first full-time agency nanny role on Monday, caring for newborn twins. The agency’s screening process was rigorous: a written application, childcare philosophy statement, resume and portfolio, reference checks, background checks, and multiple interviews. I was competing with candidates nationwide, but I landed the job and stayed with the family until they relocated, when the twins were nearly seven.
As I immersed myself in the nanny world, I deepened my connections — joining the International Nanny Association, attending my first nanny conference, getting involved with the (now defunct) National Association of Nannies, and founding Boston Area Nannies, a local nonprofit support group.
We weren’t just babysitters — we were childcare professionals dedicated to the physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and educational development of the children in our care. We were partners to parents, part of the family but not quite family — a distinction every seasoned nanny eventually understands.
As I advanced in my career, I worked with agencies that raised the bar even higher: psychological assessments, video presentations, specialized training. I came to value agencies that were members of the International Nanny Association (INA) and Association of Premier Nanny Agencies, both organizations that promote high standards in the field.
My next role was with a high-net-worth family, earning nearly $90,000 per year in salary and benefits — a significant package, especially back in the early 2000s, and far beyond what I’d have made as a chemist. By then, I’d been named the International Nanny Association Nanny of the Year and had written several parenting books.
I was all in.
Serving on the INA board opened my eyes to the business side of the industry: policies, procedures, best practices, tax and payroll compliance, vendor partnerships, and the importance of ongoing professional development. Meanwhile, life unfolded — I got married, started a family of my own, and stepped into a leadership role at INA, eventually becoming its Executive Director.
Since then, I’ve authored books (and been the subject of some), appeared on television, radio, and in print, advocating for professional nanny care. I championed fair, legal wages, develop the first U.S.-based CACHE/NCFE accredited nanny training program, published Nanny Magazine, the first industry trade publication, and since 2012, have served as managing partner of Longhorn Leads, overseeing a portfolio of nanny-related businesses, including Houston’s award-winning agency, Morningside Nannies.
On the personal side, I’ve also become a mother to five, including three adopted through foster care. My work is not just a career — it’s a lifelong commitment to making a difference in children’s lives.
So why share all this?
Because I want to lay the foundation for an important truth:
When a nanny agency — especially Morningside Nannies — gets a bad review, it’s often not a bad thing.
Early in my agency career, I’d cringe over every 1-star review. But over time, I’ve come to understand something critical: rejection is part of the work.
Our agency represents a select group of candidates. We apply clear, objective standards — consistently — to every applicant. And while we’re transparent about these standards throughout the process, not everyone meets them. Understandably, some rejected applicants are upset, and sometimes that frustration shows up as a negative review.
Our standards don’t label someone as a “good” or “bad” nanny — they simply reflect the criteria we’ve established to ensure all our placements meet client expectations. We require at least two years of verifiable childcare work experience under the supervision of someone other than the candidate’s own family. Being a parent or occasional babysitter, while valuable, doesn’t meet our agency’s threshold.
On the client side, not every family is a match for Morningside Nannies either. We uphold industry standards for fair and legal pay, benefits, expectations, and workplace compliance. When families want to pay under the table, expect 24/7 availability, skip guaranteed hours, or request only candidates from specific demographics, we say no, and we explain why. We offer educational resources. But ultimately, no means no — and not every client likes hearing that.
No, our nannies won’t work around the clock for $300 a week.
No, we can’t promise a Mary Poppins lookalike.
No, we can’t send you only candidates without children of their own.
No, we can’t fulfill discriminatory requests.
At the end of the day, I want both our clients and our nannies to be successful. That means setting expectations early, applying consistent standards, and being upfront — even when it’s uncomfortable.
Are we perfect? Of course not. But when we get it wrong, we work to make it right. That’s why we offer replacement guarantees and go above and beyond to support both families and nannies, ensuring placements that meet professional, legal, and ethical standards.
After more than 30 years in this field, I am proud of the work we do. And I know that sometimes, a bad review isn’t a sign of failure — it’s a sign that we’re holding the line on what matters most.
Posted in Advice for Parents, All About Nannies, Houston | Comments Off on The Truth About Bad Reviews of Nanny AgenciesHiring a nanny is one of the most important decisions you’ll make for your family — and it can feel overwhelming. As a seasoned nanny and parenting consultant, I have long guided parents through this process with wisdom, practicality, and a child-centered approach. Drawing on that same mindset, here are five essential things parents should know when bringing a nanny into their home.
1. Define your family’s needs before you search
Too often, parents jump into hiring without first getting crystal-clear on what they need. Do you want a full-time or part-time nanny? What hours, duties, and expectations are non-negotiable? What role do they want the nanny to play in the family? What is your budget for the role? I often remind parents that if you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will the nanny be able to meet your needs? Write down your must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal-breakers. This clarity will save you — and the candidates — time and frustration. Sometimes parents believe they can find the candidates than define the role, but successful nanny searches do not work that way. You have to have a clear understanding of what you job is and who is going to fit best in the role to recruit viable candidates. Families who don’t have a clear job description or understanding of their needs are a red flag for experienced nannies.
2. A resume is not the whole story
Yes, a resume matters — but it is just one piece of the puzzle. A nanny’s temperament, values, and ability to fit into your family culture are just as critical. You’re not hiring a babysitter; you’re hiring a partner in your parenting. During interviews, go beyond the resume. You want to ensure you understand the candidate’s complete work history and her motivation for starting and ending each job. Ask situational questions about how the nanny has handled child related occurrences, observe how the nanny interacts with your children, and trust your instincts. Sometimes the most qualified person on paper isn’t the right fit for your family.
3. Background checks and references are non-negotiable
No matter how warm or impressive a candidate seems, you must do your due diligence. That means conducting a formal background check, verifying identity and work eligibility, and calling references. Trust, but verify. You are entrusting someone with your children’s safety and well-being and you need to know who is going to be caring for your children. Gather as much information as possible so you can make an educated and informed hiring decision.
4. Be clear about the job — and put it in writing
A common point of conflict between families and nannies is unclear expectations. Avoid this by creating a written work agreement that outlines duties, schedule, pay, benefits, vacation time, and any household rules or expectations. It is up to parents to understand their legal and tax responsibilities and to be compliant in those areas. Any nanny employment should be treated as professional employment — because it is. This protects both you and the nanny, ensures alignment, and builds a foundation of mutual respect.
5. Invest in the relationship, not just the hire
Hiring a nanny is not a “set it and forget it” situation. Regular check-ins, honest communication, and appreciation go a long way. Schedule time for feedback, be open to hearing the nanny’s perspective, and show gratitude for the work they do. A thriving nanny-parent relationship benefits everyone — especially your children.
Final Thoughts
It’s not just about finding a nanny — it’s about finding the right nanny for your family. Take your time, do your homework, and remember: when you hire thoughtfully and lead with respect, you’re setting up your family for peace of mind and your children for loving, stable care.
I’ve put together a Welcome Family Guide that helps parents understand what it takes to find, hire and keep the right nanny for their family. Welcome Family Guide 2025. If you are in Houston and need help with your nanny search, contact me for a complimentary consultation.
Posted in Advice for Parents | Comments Off on 5 Things Parents Need to Know When Hiring a NannyIf you’re a Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) considering a move into private nanny care, you bring a highly valuable set of skills to the table — but you also face unique challenges in transitioning from a clinical or therapeutic setting to a family-centered home environment.
Many parents today are looking for nannies who align with positive discipline, gentle parenting, and child-led approaches. This can sometimes feel at odds with the structured, data-driven methods used in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and RBT work. So how can you make a smooth and successful shift?
Here are some important things to keep in mind as you make this transition:
Your training as an RBT has given you exceptional observation skills, patience, and knowledge of child development — all major assets in nanny care!
When applying for nanny positions, highlight:
But be mindful not to present yourself as a “therapist” or suggest you will implement formal behavior programs unless specifically requested. Most families are not looking for in-home therapy — they’re looking for a loving caregiver.
As an RBT, your focus was often on skill acquisition, behavior reduction, and measurable outcomes. As a nanny, your role is about nurturing, caregiving, supporting development, and building a warm, trusting relationship.
Parents often want their children to feel safe, loved, and respected, not “fixed” or managed. Be prepared to relax your focus on data collection and compliance, and lean into child-led activities, emotional connection, and playful learning.
Many modern families embrace parenting styles like:
These approaches prioritize:
Validating children’s emotions
Collaborating instead of controlling
Using natural consequences instead of punishments
Building connection over compliance
Take time to educate yourself on these philosophies. You don’t have to abandon your training — but you do need to understand how parents want discipline handled in their home, which may be less rigid than RBT protocols.
As an RBT, you’re trained to spot patterns and note potential delays or concerns — but as a nanny, your role is not to assess, diagnose, or intervene clinically.
Instead, focus on open, respectful communication with parents:
In therapy, sessions often have a set structure and goal. In a home, life is less predictable. There are messes, missed naps, spontaneous adventures, and moments when connection matters more than “progress.”
As a nanny, be ready to pivot. Your flexibility, sense of humor, and ability to go with the flow will make you stand out.
Your background as an RBT can be an incredible asset in the nanny world — if you’re willing to adjust your mindset from “interventionist” to “caregiver.” By emphasizing connection, gentle discipline, and emotional support, you can provide families with both your expertise and your heart.
Many parents are actively looking for nannies who are both knowledgeable and nurturing. If you can blend your clinical background with a warm, child-centered approach, you’ll not only be highly employable — you’ll be a gift to the families you serve.
Bonus Tip: Consider adding some professional development in positive discipline or gentle parenting to your resume — it shows parents you’re committed to supporting their values, not just bringing your own agenda.
Posted in Advice for Nannies | Comments Off on From RBT to Nanny: Transitioning to Nanny CareWhen it comes to hiring a nanny, faster isn’t always better—and more options don’t always mean better options. At Morningside Nannies, we understand the pressure parents feel to secure childcare quickly. But we also know that finding the right nanny—the one who aligns with your family’s values, schedule, and expectations—is a process that deserves time and attention.
Here’s why we focus on quality over quantity, and why a thoughtful, thorough search is well worth the wait.
We’re not just filling a position; we’re making a match. The nanny you hire will have a profound influence on your child’s development and your family dynamic. That’s why we don’t simply send the first few applicants your way—we present only those who are truly viable, based on your specific needs and hiring preferences.
We screen for more than just experience—we look for compatibility, communication style, approach to discipline, and long-term fit. A rushed placement may check a box, but it likely won’t lead to the relationship or peace of mind you’re seeking.
Each nanny who enters our candidate pool has passed a rigorous prescreening process before ever being considered for your position. This includes:
Criminal background checks
Sex offender registry screening
Social Security trace
Motor vehicle records review
Reference verification
A childcare and safety assessment
A personality profile used to support the matching process
We don’t wait until you’ve made a job offer to start screening—because we believe families should make educated and informed hiring decisions.
We’re constantly recruiting—and the best candidates get hired quickly. That’s why we move swiftly behind the scenes to evaluate every new applicant for suitability. We keep your job top of mind as we work through new applications daily. Still, a truly great match doesn’t always happen overnight. Sometimes the right candidate is just a few days away from applying—or we’re waiting for the last piece of data before we can accept the nanny into our candidate pool.
After more than 30 years of matching Houston families with professional nannies, we’ve learned what leads to long-term success—and what doesn’t. High-volume agencies or online platforms may flood your inbox with resumes, but many of those candidates wouldn’t pass even the first phase of our vetting process.
By narrowing the focus, we increase the odds of long-term satisfaction. Our goal isn’t to make a fast placement—it’s to make the right one.
Childcare is personal. We don’t rely solely on automated matching systems or keyword searches. We have real conversations with both families and nannies. We get to know your parenting style, household rhythms, and priorities. Then we hand-select candidates who not only meet your qualifications but who we believe will thrive with your family and fulfill their commitment to your role.
We know that waiting for the right nanny can feel stressful, especially when you’re balancing work, parenting, and the many demands of daily life. But choosing a nanny is one of the most important hiring decisions you’ll ever make.
At Morningside Nannies, we take that responsibility seriously. We don’t just want to help you find a nanny—we want to help you find the right nanny. And that’s something worth waiting for.
Explore our current nanny opportunities or begin your search today at MorningsideNannies.com
Have questions? Call us at (713) 526-3989—we’re here to help.
As a longtime nanny industry professional and advocate, I’ve had countless conversations with nannies about challenges they’ve faced on the job—families coming home late, duties slowly expanding beyond what was agreed upon, or unclear communication about schedules and expectations. What strikes me most isn’t that these issues happen—it’s that the same issues keep happening, often with different families.
If you’ve ever thought, “Why does this keep happening to me?”—you’re not alone. But here’s the reality: when we avoid addressing problems as they arise, we carry them into our future roles. The pattern continues until we break it.
Avoiding conflict feels easier in the moment. After all, many nannies worry that speaking up might jeopardize their job or strain the relationship with their employers. But silence has a cost. The Harvard Negotiation Project emphasizes that unresolved issues in professional relationships inevitably lead to deeper dissatisfaction and disconnection over time.¹
Let me share an example. “Emma,” a seasoned nanny I worked with, had three jobs in a row where parents frequently arrived late. She felt taken advantage of—but never voiced her concerns. Each time, she hoped the new family would be different. They weren’t. The truth was, Emma hadn’t learned to communicate her boundaries early and effectively.
This cycle is what psychologists refer to as repetition compulsion—a subconscious drive to relive unresolved scenarios in hopes of achieving a better outcome, but without changing our own behavior.² Until we address our part in the dynamic, we remain stuck.
You teach people how to treat you. If you consistently tolerate crossed boundaries, people will assume it’s acceptable.
Unspoken resentment builds. What starts as minor irritation can turn into burnout or a fractured relationship.
The same problems will follow you. New job, same outcome—unless something changes.
Reflect on what frustrations keep surfacing in your jobs. Write them down. Ask yourself, “Did I communicate my expectations clearly?” Identifying repeated experiences is the first step toward changing them. If you are experiencing job creep in each position, for example, consider if you’re being asked to take on additional duties or if you’ve started helping out because you felt something needed to be done — and now it’s become an expectation.
Address small issues before they become big ones. According to relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman, how you start a conversation predicts how it will end.³ Lead with empathy and respect. For example: “I really enjoy working with your family. I’d love to find a way we can keep each other updated when arrival times change, so I can plan accordingly.” If you are willing, consider asking if the family would like to expand your hours or your rate to make any accommodations that seem needed.
Before accepting a position, confirm details in writing—work hours, responsibilities, overtime policies, communication preferences. Clear boundaries help everyone feel secure. Ensure you review a written job offer and complete a written work agreement with the family. Formalizing the work agreement ensures that both parties understanding the expectations and responsibilities of their role.
Keep a personal log of situations that feel uncomfortable. Writing things down helps you clarify your thoughts and prepare for productive discussions. Remember, if you don’t give your employer the opportunity to correct an issue, they issue may not be correct. Having natural opportunities to connect help ensure negative feelings and resentment do not build up. Consider asking for weekly check-in meetings at the start of each new job and adjust the interval when you meet as the job progresses.
Whether it’s your nanny placement agency, a mentor, or a professional nanny group, don’t navigate these challenges alone. Most reputable agencies provide support not just for job placement, but for long-term success on the job. Join the International Nanny Association to network with other like-minded professionals or join an online social media group like Nanny Counsel, where you can get advice from others.
It’s not unkind or ungrateful to speak up. It’s a demonstration of self-respect and emotional maturity. You’re not just protecting your current job—you’re setting the standard for the kind of work environment you deserve.
As researcher and leadership expert Brené Brown wisely said, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”⁴ By being clear about your boundaries and needs, you create healthier dynamics for yourself—and for the families you serve.
Sources:
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (2010). Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin Books.
Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle.
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown.
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead. Random House.
Dr. Benjamin Ho, Medical Director of Texas Children’s Pediatrics Concierge Medicine program, explains why parents should consider concierge medicine for their child’s pediatric care.
“This is incredible! I can’t believe you picked up the phone! This is just like the old days.” These are just some of the comments that I always receive when I merely answer the phone. It has become increasingly clear to me that direct patient-doctor communication is a hallmark for this type of practice. I have worked as a pediatrician at Texas Children’s in a traditional clinic for nearly 20 years and my recent transition to concierge medicine has been the most rewarding and amazing job that I have ever had in my medical career. As a concierge doctor, I feel the same excitement and joy as I did as a young, budding medical student becoming a doctor. I’m passionate about giving children and families the highest standard of care, and consider it an honor to be able to do so.
What is concierge medicine?
While the practice of concierge medicine has certainly been around for decades, the concept has gained more popularity in recent years, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s just one of several new ways patients and families prefer to interact with their physician. While some prefer the traditional model, there are now other ways in which you can interact with your physician, such as telehealth or virtual visits. Concierge medicine is another option offered at Texas Children’s Pediatrics. It is a healthcare model that offers families an elevated level of service and attention through a focus on accessibility and convenience. Patients pay an annual or monthly fee to a primary care physician in exchange for direct access and enhanced services. This fee covers a range of services, from extended visits, faster appointment scheduling and 24/7 communication with the doctor. In this model, physicians have more direct contact with patients, which allows for more focused and holistic care. In my experience, this has been game-changing for both my patients and me.
For me, the transition to concierge medicine has been awesome! I feel like I can deliver personalized care and communicate with the patients in a relaxed and easygoing manner. For my patients, this has been just as transformative. With direct access to me 24/7, my patients feel assured knowing that I am just one phone call or message away. They are always enormously grateful when they receive a follow-up call from me every day their child is sick or when we discuss laboratory or imaging results and specialist visits the same day it happens. A big part of why I wanted to be a doctor is the personal, human side of medicine and concierge medicine has allowed me to forge much deeper bonds with my patients and enrich our relationship.
Who would be interested?
Anyone who prefers a more one-on-one, 24/7 approach to their child’s care should consider concierge medicine. Parents with children who have specialized needs find concierge medicine beneficial since they can get their questions answered right away. Also, families consisting of multiple children appreciate concierge medicine as it helps them maintain the multiple visits and health concerns that come with having more children. Regardless of family size or need, concierge medicine comes down to preference for the parents and patient. It can be impactful, while easing the stress that naturally comes with having a sick child or simply wanting to make sure your child remains healthy.
The future is bright
The future of concierge medicine is bright, and I expect this emerging practice to grow exponentially. As it continues to popularize, it will continue to become increasingly affordable for everyone. The benefits for both physicians and patients are enormous and the positive health implications are endless. I am proud that Texas Children’s is the first pediatric hospital system in the nation to embark on this new endeavor and I anticipate other pediatric hospitals to adopt this healthcare model as well. As the world continues to advance more towards computers and artificial intelligence, it is nice to know that this movement of medicine is becoming more human.
Learn more about Dr. Benjamin Ho and Concierge Medicine at Texas Children’s Pediatrics.
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